March 23rd, 2017

eye

here i am

Most of our decision, we make because it was the best at that time. However we weight the options available to us, however we try to come up with the best route, however we manage our expectations, in the end we find ourselves a failure.

It’s not easy leaving the life you built and start anew somewhere else. Uprooting and planting your feet on foreign soil is never a breeze. The promise of a better life and brighter tomorrow may seem enough; may seem the right thing to do. It’s painful to find out at the end of it all that it may not be worth all the hardships.

I moved here half-heartedly. My mind was made up, it was sensible, it was logical. But sense and logic won’t give you friends, won’t give you family, won’t give you joy at the end of the day as you lie in your bed trying to think of your day’s high.

I’ve accomplished all that I have planned for. I have brought my family. But I lost friends along the way. I have missed events. I have been forgotten. I still keep asking myself, is it worth it? My answer remains – no.

I’d like to think I have no regrets but I do. I’d like to think I will be fine but I won’t. I’d like to think I can go back but I can’t.
  • Current Mood
    melancholy melancholy
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