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I don't ever want to be alone - that's my greatest fear.
I don't really enjoy hearing my partner talk about how happy he was with another girl in the past but it's okay to hear about how his past relationship went. From it I learn a more about him and his points of view. There's no jealousy at all.

Writer's Block: 'Tis the season

Do you find the holiday season relaxing or stressful, and why?

I try to look beyond the stress because it shouldn't be. It becomes a job if it stresses you. We should always remember that it is a celebration and a season to be jolly.

Writer's Block: Ready, steady, read

I just went back into reading after a couple of years coz I got pretty busy with work. I would have to say, the best I've read this year is a Paolo Coelho book "By the River Piedra I sat down and wept". It was a love-faith-soul searching kind of story and I enjoyed reading it. I finished it in just a matter of hours. I can relate to it somehow too.

star struck

I thought I’m so different already and that I can maintain composure even around celebrities. I found out this morning that it was just how I wanted it to be, nothing  more than a theory.

 I have tried several times to interact with different local celebrities and  participate on sensible poll questions on Twitter on the hopes of getting a reply from someone who is someone to everyone. It is true what they say after all that things happen when you least expect it. It was like being really star struck in the flesh. I could not explain my exhilaration when I read the tweet in response to mine. I was like a little child wearing her new dress around trying to get everyone’s attention and being successful at it. Wow! I could not believe my eyes for a moment and I tried to take in what just happened. There it was – my username.

 And for the record – smoking got me to this.

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IF THINGS ARE MEANT TO BE, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, IT'S GONNA HAPPEN = => I'd say it isn't absolute. Others may have misunderstood things when they were told about destiny. It just doesn't fit the idea of freewill at all and if so, what is the sense of us making all the decisions then. Here's what I think then:

Every time we face a crossroad in our life where we need to make a choice, each of those choice in fact have a final destination at the end of it. BUT before we actually get to that end, we will be faced again with crossroads that could change our "destiny". Therefore, our decisions should bring us to the things that we really want for ourselves because relying on destiny won't take us places.

not surrender

It feels a lot longer that it was that I’ve been where I am. It is just so difficult to embrace the happiness surrounding me with all these frustrations up above my head. I cannot find it in myself to slow my pace and be patient thinking that I’m gradually losing grip of chance. I cannot stop wondering what and how. What now? How will I make it? I wish I could have a stronger self to fight off the Other.

 

I will not consider this as surrender neither as a sign of defeat. The battle goes on and I’m still in the midst of it carrying my armor and rifle, always ready to struck and go forth. I will not be stopped by anything.

 

The best thing to do now is allow myself to be engulfed not by anxiety but of the present, the gift, of happiness.

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Writer's Block: You must remember this

Memories should empower us, give us hope and put our mind in the right perspective - whether or not such memories are painful. The past should make our future better. It is definitely important to embrace every memory. It is acceptance that you made a mistake; acknowledgment that you did great.  If you are no longer in denial, laid off of all burden, decisions are clearer and objective.

Writer's Block: Time in a bottle

I don't think that would be a good idea. We need to understand that "time" gives us a sense of direction and goal. Although it seemed like time is always against us, like when we are late for work or we are deprived of something coz we didn't make it on time, still it gives us proper perspective on what to do and how to go about our lives. Nothing would seem to matter in the absence of time.

Writer's Block: MAKE IT STOP!

Title is IT'S NOT OVER by SECONDHAND SERENADE. I have this on my ipod and I'm like stuck on replay forever in this song. My favorite verse is:

"I'm falling apart I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever;
It's breaking my heart it's breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together;
We could be over and over
We could be forever.."