I feel so alive right now after feeling so dead in the last couple of years. Finally I have found that certain sense of belongingness, want and enthusiasm that gradually left me as the days went by. I reckoned having everything just happen as they do – without any hope of being saved. I imagined myself sitting on that same corner looking back at my life with complete remorse. I almost saw myself putting up with the mediocrity of a career I worked so hard to be part of. I thought of how envy and shame swallow me whole.
And then there was tinge of hope out of chance. The long wait was over and I couldn’t be more grateful. I was so ready to settle for anything out of desperation and need but God has given me what I deserve – a second chance at life. My heart was pounding incessantly and I was overjoyed with how this possibility could actually turn things around. I was engrossed with the idea that I can be that one person I’ve always dreamed about.
I’m not sure where this would go but I do know that I can’t mess this up.